I opened the DM
It was from one of your best friends
Let your mind go wild with that information.
I opened the DM
It was from one of your best friends
Let your mind go wild with that information.
I can’t cry
I can’t sleep
sigh
I am numb
I am absent
come
I am confused
I am broken
blues
What is this
What happened
miss
Dear Derek,
I think about you from time to time. And with each time, along comes guilt. I feel guilty for breaking your heart. I don’t blame you for disappearing from my life.
Derek I wish I could tell you, how much I regret choosing him instead of you. But maybe it was for the best because of what I did to you; I got what I deserved; he broke my heart into glitter-sized pieces and it took me 2,920 days to heal.
Derek I hope you are happy.
Sincerely,
Me
This is my diary. This is where I will write it all.
Who is reading this anyway?
This is where I write my confessions and expose the truth of what happened between me and him besides
who is reading this anyway?
@real_baller4277 So do you not feel like talking?
@inthiscastle Of course but wait does Daviana know you are messaging me?
@real_baller4277 Can we just leave her out of it please
@inthiscastle Ok yeah no problem
@real_baller4277 Sorry 😕 We aren’t doing anything wrong you know. Just old friends messaging that’s all no biggy.
@inthiscastle I know but why does it feel so wrong and also I don’t want to fall into the same thing as last time.
@real_baller4277 Listen we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do and anyway why do you let your mind get to that?
@inthiscastle Ok, well then can I ask about your kids? How are they?
@real_baller4277 You mean how is he. I still only have 1 kid. He is good I am the best dad in the world or at least I try to be with every ounce of myself. He is my blood, my child, my seed.
@inthiscastle I 100% know you’re a wonderful dad, I don’t doubt it one bit
@real_baller4277 So Where are you living these days? I heard you were by Mulberry Rd
@inthiscastle Um yeah but who told you? 🕵🏻♀️ I remember last time you were in Oregon
@real_baller4277 Yeah, but I am back home for like the last couple of months
So how do you like that side of town? I spend a lot of time there for work and not a fan honestly.
@inthiscastle I will message you tomorrow, my husband just go home.
@real_baller4277 you little daredevil you hasta mañana
I finally recognized your pattern. You get bored with your relationship and decide to venture out into mine. Subtly you reach out to see how I am doing, like a curious old friend. Day by day you look for me until we get comfortable again…
THEN
You interrupt my life; my thoughts. You seem to push through my heart, push your way in between my legs.
The most infuriating thing is that I let you. I let you mess up my conscience and my marriage.
I saw it this last time, I finally woke up from the slumber you put me in. I finally recognized your pattern. Once you see that I am falling apart in all aspects, you don’t sext, you don’t call, you don’t even look at me when I see you at the grocery store playing house with your spouse.
I am left alone in my feelings, I am left alone with the broken pieces. I am left alone to ask for forgiveness in my marriage. I am left alone to wait for the next time.
Hi friend,
I will be back soon. Don’t leave me.
I needed some time to learn about myself.
Look out for August, some posts are coming your way.
I have been away. Out of the country.
I find it difficult to be on a phone or computer when there is so much to experience.
So for now dear reader, I leave you with this.